For practically all of my adult life I have been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, most of it I believe exstianes from my being trans and the way the world looked at people like me and the way the world treated people like me. I never even noticed that I had depression tell I started having suicidal thoughts, thinking suicide was the only way out of this mess of a life I now had and the fact that I couldn’t say with any real certainty what I was just made things worse. As the years pasted by I drank heavier and heavier and sleeped fearther down the rabbit hole of depression tell I could no longer see the light of day and nothing mattered at all, I drank very heavily at night trying to get alcohol poisoning to die and when that didn’t work I tried a moltitued of things over the years to camite suicide. I didn’t stop trying tell about 6 year’s ago when I had my awakening, that was the day my suppressed memories came back from my childhood and then I knew What I was and I no longer had a death wish ( for a while anyway ) I joined a LGBT+ website for support and worked hard at trying to fix my brocken life, I realized why my suicide attempts had failed because for the support I got I gave back to people all around the world if I had died I wouldn’t be hear to help others. But for all my hard work and thinking I had beat my depression it came back and hit me hard 3 year’s ago around the year end holidays it got so bad that I tried to camite suicide by taking 500 500miligram Asperan and drinking a 6 pack of beer it rezolted in making me very sick the next day and for days after that. That was the last suicide attempt, iv realized I will probably always had depression and suicidal thoughts but the trick is not to give in to the depression and the little voice wispering in your ear to give up because you always have more work to do and people like you to help.
BY FOR NOW