Coalition for the homeless of central Florida / Their blog page

http://centralfloridahomeless.org/blog/

This is a nice blog page full of short stories of the people that have gone throw the program and gotten helped and it’s also about some of the programs and events they have there.   

❤️ ✌️   

BY FOR NOW

Sorry everyone

Sorry everyone but this will probably be my last post for a while ( see my last post for the details ). 

Now I’m just gonna ramble on about my life abit. 

I’ve never had a easy life that’s for sure as a child I had a rare growth disorder were my bone structure grow twice as fast as the rest of my body causing severe pain in my muscles as they were stretched to their bracking point everyday and to add to that I was diagnosed with scolyowses so I had to go to physical therapy 3 days a week and I was diagnosed with cronic degradation of the ear drums and I had a birth defect in my reproductive organs, so my childhood was mostly spent in pain and getting shofold around from doctor to doctor being pocked and prodded and in and out of the hospital for ear surgery and stiches for severe cuts ( cosd by many different things ) and my teenage years into adolthood was about the same in and out of the hospital for something or another, I brock my tail bone in my early twenties and some how herniated 3 discs in my lower back around the same time but I don’t slow down I went full tilt into reclise abandonement of my body, now at 44 year’s old I have a bulging disc in the middle of my back, my right shoulder is messed up, I have a couple of ribs on the left side messed up, my right hip is messed up, my right knee is messed up and I have a nurological problem with my right leg making it hard to walk right, I’m half def, my eyes are gone bad and I have swelling in my lower legs making it hard to crotch-down, so I’m no stranger to physical pain but it’s to much to beable to work throw any more doing physical labor, now add on top of that my depression and anxiety and you have one  “F”ed up life.

Everywhere I go to try and get help I get the same basic reaction of  ” OMG your disabled “sorry we can’t help you”, iv been doing this for years now gone around and around with the brocken system we have if you’re disabled and poor there’s no help for you your on your own and the same goes for if you’re homeless around here and the city has made sure to make it as hard as possible on you to just survive as they don’t want homeless people around. 

I’m not trying to wine and complain here but make a point that this is my  “F”ed up life and this is what I have to deal with, I don’t blame anyone for it I’m the one that wasted my 20’s and 30’s in suicidal depression and anxiety working under the table for a couple of chep ass’s and getting nowere in life. I’ve spent the last 5 year’s trying to fix my brocken life and get past my depression and anxiety witch I thought I had for the most part but it’s pulling me back down again with all that is going on now in my life.  

If you’ve read throw all this thank you for your time.  

❤️ ✌️ BY FOR NOW

I know it’s been awhile

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve been around that’s because things haven’t been going so well, so hear’s how things have been.

At the start of April I ran out of money on my food stamps ( EBT ) FDC doesn’t tell you your card renew’s when it’s activated their form letter tell’s you it renew’s throwout the month so I had to panhandle to get money to eat tell my card renewed on the 18, so I had little time to sit around and charge my phone during the day at the library besides that the lady that runs the place was making excuses to run me off because of me being homeless. After my card renewed I learned how long I had before it would be renewed again and to watch my spending, I was doing quite well with it tell some no-good ass pickpocketed me at the store and took my EBT card I called it in and had it cansoled they said I would get my new card in 5 to 7 working days but that never happened, I finally had a nuff of the hole EBT card thing and just let it go, besides there was a lot I couldn’t buy with it anyway that I needed cash for. My brother has helped me out as much as he could and the rest I have gotten from kind people helping me out. I found a store where I can charge my phone during the day they don’t mind me being there because I don’t bug the customer’s gone in and out and now I have a rechargeable battery pack so I don’t have to worry about my phone gone dead on me the only problem with it is it takes a very long time to charge because it’s 16,000 mla. 

I don’t know how it is in other states but hear in FL it’s illegal to panhandle you can be arrested and spend 48 hrs in jail so I don’t panhandle that often I mainly reli on kind heart people to help me out so sometimes I have money for food and supplies and other times I do with out, I know it’s not a very good system but it keeps me out of jail and besides that it helps keep my anxiety attached down. 

I’m not living on the street’s anymore I get out my tint and set it up out in the woods after getting rained on all night long one night it’s peaceful for the most part where I’m at but the Armadillo’s are a nuisance especially when they come snooping up against your tint looking for bug’s to eat in the middle of the night and the raccoons especially when there fighting off and on all night long it sounds like cats fighting.

Well it’s 2 am now so I should rap this up now and try and get some sleep I think this cover’s the basics of things.

Love and peace to you all. 

BY FOR NOW

 

Four things you are greatfull for

On SARA IN LALALAND, question of the 5 she asked this ” what are for  things your greatfull for “.

I felt like elaborating on this more just because I’m in that kind of a mood.

The answer’s I gave was this,

1.WordPress and all the beautiful people iv meat on here.

2. All the real beautiful people iv meat on the streets.

3. All the beauty and wonder in the world.

4. All the people I have meat from around the world in the past 5+ years and was able to help in some small way.

As you can see I didn’t say anything about my life because in reality my life really doesn’t mean a thing to me it’s all about what I can do for others even at the cost of my own life. Now don’t get me wrong here I don’t have a death wish any more but I live by a code of honer and if that means giving up my life to save someone else well then so be it.

I broke my rose colored glasses 5+ years ago after my awakening my selfishness to end my life was replaced with a need to help other’s and in doing so it help me to grow and fix my self making me a better person for it.

I walk the streets and am discusted by the trashy mess I see every wear but with in the trash I can see the wonder of life still thriving to exist refusing to die.

As I walk the streets I see the faces of the people of this world, some you can read like a billboard their hole life’s story written on their face others aren’t that easy to read and some are just plain scary.  You see the really poor and the poor alike in the grocery store try to pay for what they can to provide for their families, you see the addicts on the street corners panhandling to get money for their next fix because they have given up and know no other way to live.

When you break your rose colored glasses the world becomes a hole nother place and you become a different person in it!!!

BY FOR NOW

EBT / Foodstamps

EBT / Foodstamps is a good program for the most part with out it I probably be dead or diing somewhere but it does have it’s draw backs like the fact you can’t buy a hot meal with it, you can’t buy vitamins or medication, you can’t buy any paper products or house-hold supplies, you can buy the food but noting to go along with it for eating it, but the one that I really don’t get is not being able to buy a hot meal if that ant the dumest thing they didn’t think too hard about the homeless people that don’t have a kitchen to make food in when they made that rule!!! 😨 😞

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Pawn Shop’s

Well the other day I took my julriy box and went to the pawn shops to get money for my storage locker, out of the hundreds of dollars worth of stuff they picked throw I only ended up with $81 for it all, what a rip you can’t even get a fraction of what you paid for it all they care about is the wait and if it’s pure gold or silver and the gem stones are worthless to them. Well at least I was able to get one more month payed on my locker and was left with $22 in my pocket.

BY FOR NOW

Nasty day yesterday

Yesterday was a nasty day, I woke up around 7 am it was cool, dark, rainy and very wendy out, the sun didn’t start to show it’s self tell around 9 am, I sat on a picnic table tell noon wating for the rain to end so I could go to my storage locker about a 2 hr walk from where I was and of course before I got there it started raining again so I was all damp by time I got there, I hung out there for a while to dry out and get a few things then when and got something to eat for dinner by that time the rain had moved off but the wind was blowing at 35 to 40 mph mushing me all over the side walk, I got dinner and made it to my little spot for the night. I sleep off and on throw the night because of my back and hips hurting so today I decided to do nothing but sit around and rest all the runing around town looking for help had just totally wore me out. Tomorrow I’ll call habitat for humanity and see if they can help me out ( the center ( LGBT) refured them to me and a couple of other places) hopefully I’ll have some luck with someone.

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Still alive

Well yesterday morning I woke around 6 am and half frozen to death the temp fell to 45 degree’s over night so last night I got me a blanket it wasn’t as bad last night. I got my food stamp card yesterday but I have to wait tell Monday to get it activated, iv only got $190.00 a month so I will have to watch close how much I spend but at least I can eat.

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Officially homeless

Well I’m officially homeless to day, so far it’s not that bad exsept for the cold weather, it’s been warm out for weeks but of course it would have to turn cold on me this week just to anye me out of spite, it’s been cool and wind all day and now cold and wind but I found a little corner next to a overpass that’s blocking out the wind pretty good, tell someone comes along and tells me to move it. Tomorrow I will start checking out this temporary shelters I found on line and see if any of them are Werth bothering with, I’m not staying in any of those lock-down shelters I can’t mentally handle that ( clostrifobiya ) I have to be-able to come and go as I please. Well it’s 23:06 now so I’m gonna try and get some sleep now it’s been a very long day for me and I’m sure tomorrow will be too.

BY FOR NOW

 

Life won’t give me a break

Well a couple of month’s ago i left the hell hole i was in to try and start over agine to make a better life for my self and start to transition. Well like everything Life had a different idea, iv looked and applied for job’s that i thought i could physically do as im disabled but to no avale.  Now im unemployed, brock and homeless, iv tryed to be happy and motivated pusing me self way out side me comforte zone and my anxiety level.

Now im just F’ed !!! 

BY FOR NOW