Sorry everyone

Sorry everyone but this will probably be my last post for a while ( see my last post for the details ). 

Now I’m just gonna ramble on about my life abit. 

I’ve never had a easy life that’s for sure as a child I had a rare growth disorder were my bone structure grow twice as fast as the rest of my body causing severe pain in my muscles as they were stretched to their bracking point everyday and to add to that I was diagnosed with scolyowses so I had to go to physical therapy 3 days a week and I was diagnosed with cronic degradation of the ear drums and I had a birth defect in my reproductive organs, so my childhood was mostly spent in pain and getting shofold around from doctor to doctor being pocked and prodded and in and out of the hospital for ear surgery and stiches for severe cuts ( cosd by many different things ) and my teenage years into adolthood was about the same in and out of the hospital for something or another, I brock my tail bone in my early twenties and some how herniated 3 discs in my lower back around the same time but I don’t slow down I went full tilt into reclise abandonement of my body, now at 44 year’s old I have a bulging disc in the middle of my back, my right shoulder is messed up, I have a couple of ribs on the left side messed up, my right hip is messed up, my right knee is messed up and I have a nurological problem with my right leg making it hard to walk right, I’m half def, my eyes are gone bad and I have swelling in my lower legs making it hard to crotch-down, so I’m no stranger to physical pain but it’s to much to beable to work throw any more doing physical labor, now add on top of that my depression and anxiety and you have one  “F”ed up life.

Everywhere I go to try and get help I get the same basic reaction of  ” OMG your disabled “sorry we can’t help you”, iv been doing this for years now gone around and around with the brocken system we have if you’re disabled and poor there’s no help for you your on your own and the same goes for if you’re homeless around here and the city has made sure to make it as hard as possible on you to just survive as they don’t want homeless people around. 

I’m not trying to wine and complain here but make a point that this is my  “F”ed up life and this is what I have to deal with, I don’t blame anyone for it I’m the one that wasted my 20’s and 30’s in suicidal depression and anxiety working under the table for a couple of chep ass’s and getting nowere in life. I’ve spent the last 5 year’s trying to fix my brocken life and get past my depression and anxiety witch I thought I had for the most part but it’s pulling me back down again with all that is going on now in my life.  

If you’ve read throw all this thank you for your time.  

❤️ ✌️ BY FOR NOW

19 thoughts on “Sorry everyone”

  1. You are a lot stronger than most people who look down on you, and though it may not seem like it, what you are going through now will help you be what you wish to be… replace depression with hope, stay true to your heart and follow your dreams and you will be fine… 🙂

    “Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come”.

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  2. When the system is rotten up, we all need to do something about it. You can sit down one day and try to have a bird’s eyeview of the places you went seeking for help and how you were denied. Then chart it all up on here as a blog post which will help people like myself greatly who are trying to bring forth the changes in the system. People like yourself who are “actually” going through it, are the best first-hand genuine witnesses. And since there are many loopholes which most of the administrative staff use to deny most of the government help, through your written expereinces you can help many like yourself out there.

    Stay blessed and strong. Btw, I have a question if you don’t mind me asking. Do you go to some Church to seek this much strength to carry on or is there any other source of your hope beyond yourself i.e. friends, books, etc.?

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    1. Thank you Amir, as for the loopholes in the system it’s because I’m a single male on paper and that is the loophole that nobody wants to touch and everyone knows about.
      I don’t mind saying, it’s about 80% me thow I can’t say where it really comes from and about 20% from friends and people here on WP. ❤️✌️

      BY FOR NOW

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Being a single male does not disqualify you or makes you any inferior to anyone out there. You’d be amazed with results when you pursue your rights with a more confident and positive mind.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Here in FL it dose disqualifie you for a lot of things, I’ve been gone round and round with the system for years now, FL has a very brocken system. ❤️✌️

        BY FOR NOW

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes, its true but someone got to fix it and if the change is not coming from the top, let it start at the bottom from people like you and I.

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      4. Hey Dawn, have you tried finding a pro-bono attorney who specializes in disability around your area?

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      5. You may want to give your local disability attorney a try. Do you need any help in finding one for your location?

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  3. You are an inspiration! I know I sound shallow when I say things will be fine, but believe me it will 🙂

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  4. Sounds very difficult to bare. I know that physical pain gives us mental pain as well. I am a diabetic. Sometimes I reflect on how unfair it is to have this disease. It gets depressing sometimes. It also affects every aspect of my life.
    It is really hard to deal with pain, I wish you some relief.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry to hear that dear I know about being a diabetic as I was borderline in my early teens and had to go throw all that of watching my sugar intake everyday and testing my blood luckily it went away.
      Thank you for reading dear and the nice comment. ❤️✌️

      BY FOR NOW

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